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Fucked Up Stories
The World Is Stupid

Stupid Stories that are all true

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The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on
nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating
one within city limits.


Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old
man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two
(counterfeit) $16 bills.

A house burgler somewhere in the U.S.A. broke into someone's home and stole a TV, when leaving the home he slipped on the icy steps and hurt his back. He sued the family and WON!

A woman in the city of Toulouse in Southern France just finished washing her cat. Being too stupid to just let the cat dry on it's own she put it in the microwave and naturally the cat exploded. She sued the company for not having a warning label saying do not place your cat in the microwave, and she won!

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought the
suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest
words. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even
incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.


Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.






Procrastination is the art of keeping up with
yesterday.