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Fucked Up Stories

My friend Rob has a lot of crazy shit happen to him, here are some stories about him.

The day of the Salmon Festival almost everyone was right on the sauce, Rob was no exception. After drinking about 20 beer or so he was walking through the crowd and accidentally elbowed some girl. He didn't think much of it until her boyfriend tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around the guy took a swing at him. He clumsily ducked under the punch, avoiding it ever so slightly. Rob got away from the confrontation unscaved, however the man standing behind rob at the time wasn't so lucky. He was at the receiving end of the angry boyfriend's punch. Using this as a distraction Rob quickly scurried away unharmed.

This school day had started just like any other regular day for Rob. He got up, took a shower, got dressed and got ready for school. He waited for the bus just like any other day, and he rode the bus just like any other day. In the bus on the way to school he was an argument with his friend named Heather Sue. She was not the brightest of people and often said stupid things. Like always, she had said something stupid that made Rob want to insult her. As he was walking off the bus he turned back and called her a tool. This turned out to be quite an ironic statement, because he continued to walk still turned around facing Heather, not noticing a 2ft. high by 2ft. wide block of cement, he tripped up over it and fell flat on his face breaking his nose quite severely. Because of the severety of the break he was forced to wear a nose brace that held the bones in place. The brace was really big and it made him look like a toucan. So all the while he had it on we were cracking jokes about Froot Loops and toucan Sam.

One night Rob was taking a piss and he rolled his ankle. That's right folks, he rolled his ankle while taking a piss.

These stories were not meant to offend Rob in any way, shape, or form they are just damn funny and had to be told.